So I am glad that week is over.
sorry about all the depressing posts, my pms was really bad last week.
Anyway. so now that I'm not all angry and dramatic I have nothing to say. I doubt I'll post on here again, unless of course I start feeling angry and dramatic. So yeah- enjoy life, all.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Ellow again.
So this week was stupid. As I mentioned.
I do like the baby. Really I do. I'm getting used to her. She isn't so strange to me now.
Fruits Basket is a stupid show. You were right Whitnee.
Sigh.
I went to therapy today. I hate going. It makes me feel like such an issue.
She made me take this stupid evaluation test.
It said that I was doing better in the "Critical Issues"
But that I'm showing more signs of withdrawl from people, lonliness blah blah blah.
What did you do today?
Do your parents get mad at your music too?
Even my dad is whining about mine. I swear, one scream from an A Day To Remember song and he's like "Turn it off!" A Day To Remember doesn't even legitamatly 'scream' its more of death growls etc.
I dont know why my dad freaks out. He used to listen to all the "screamo" ( I hate that terminology ) of his day.
He says that maybe a "well adjusted teenager could handle that kind of music"
And apparently I'm not one.
It was bugging me.
Today in seminary my teached wouldn't say 'parenthases' he kept saying pah-ren-the-sess but only weirder and more strange. I didn't know how to deal with it.
So this week was stupid. As I mentioned.
I do like the baby. Really I do. I'm getting used to her. She isn't so strange to me now.
Fruits Basket is a stupid show. You were right Whitnee.
Sigh.
I went to therapy today. I hate going. It makes me feel like such an issue.
She made me take this stupid evaluation test.
It said that I was doing better in the "Critical Issues"
But that I'm showing more signs of withdrawl from people, lonliness blah blah blah.
What did you do today?
Do your parents get mad at your music too?
Even my dad is whining about mine. I swear, one scream from an A Day To Remember song and he's like "Turn it off!" A Day To Remember doesn't even legitamatly 'scream' its more of death growls etc.
I dont know why my dad freaks out. He used to listen to all the "screamo" ( I hate that terminology ) of his day.
He says that maybe a "well adjusted teenager could handle that kind of music"
And apparently I'm not one.
It was bugging me.
Today in seminary my teached wouldn't say 'parenthases' he kept saying pah-ren-the-sess but only weirder and more strange. I didn't know how to deal with it.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Dramatic Post About A Birth
So this weekend was stupid. I mean I feel evil for saying so. Because you see, my mum had a baby this weekend.
But you know, for some reason, of course I would find something wrong about that.
I don’t know. It’s a baby. I guess I should be happy.
But I’m not.
Ever since I found out my mum was pregnant forever ago, I was irritated. Even then, but then I sort of got over it and I was excited, because I thought for sure that it was going to be a little brother. I have so many sisters, five, now. My two brothers are at obnoxious ages right now, and I don’t remember them when they were baby’s.
But then when this baby was a girl also, I was really upset. I mean, it’s not really something I hardly even thought about after the intital discovery, but it still bothered me.
I felt like my family was like, done, I mean this is my family,
I’m the oldest of six, maybe seven.
But not eight.
I’ve never seen my family as one of those with eight kids.
It’s so weird, and to be completely honest I kept thinking that this baby would die.
I know, that sounds absolutley awful, and it is. But I honestly had no sort of feeling of… knowing.
With all of my other siblings, as far back as I can remember, when I discovered my mum was to have another baby, I accepted it just as if you know, I always knew we weren’t complete in our family yet and it wasn’t really a surprise. But I felt that my family with only seven kids was great. Complete.
After the baby was born, I was the last to go in and see her. And it was just strange. Here was this little red-headed baby in my mothers arms and I had no idea who she was. I mean not like “Oh I don’t know you yet, but I love you already!” Not like that.
It was like, “I don’t know you, I have no idea who you are. I don’t recognize you one bit. Not even my soul knows who you are.” I always seemed to have some sort of connection with the rest of my siblings. But not this one. My parents encouraged me to hold her, but I wouldn’t do it. I was to creeped out. Why did I not know who this kid was? She might have been my parents daughter, but she was not my sister.
But my mother pushed her into my arms and I couldn’t just drop her. So I held her.
It was like holding a stranger’s baby.
My parents named her Brielle. Me and my dad wanted her to be Scarlett. But mum liked Brielle. And mum always wins.
But you know, for some reason, of course I would find something wrong about that.
I don’t know. It’s a baby. I guess I should be happy.
But I’m not.
Ever since I found out my mum was pregnant forever ago, I was irritated. Even then, but then I sort of got over it and I was excited, because I thought for sure that it was going to be a little brother. I have so many sisters, five, now. My two brothers are at obnoxious ages right now, and I don’t remember them when they were baby’s.
But then when this baby was a girl also, I was really upset. I mean, it’s not really something I hardly even thought about after the intital discovery, but it still bothered me.
I felt like my family was like, done, I mean this is my family,
I’m the oldest of six, maybe seven.
But not eight.
I’ve never seen my family as one of those with eight kids.
It’s so weird, and to be completely honest I kept thinking that this baby would die.
I know, that sounds absolutley awful, and it is. But I honestly had no sort of feeling of… knowing.
With all of my other siblings, as far back as I can remember, when I discovered my mum was to have another baby, I accepted it just as if you know, I always knew we weren’t complete in our family yet and it wasn’t really a surprise. But I felt that my family with only seven kids was great. Complete.
After the baby was born, I was the last to go in and see her. And it was just strange. Here was this little red-headed baby in my mothers arms and I had no idea who she was. I mean not like “Oh I don’t know you yet, but I love you already!” Not like that.
It was like, “I don’t know you, I have no idea who you are. I don’t recognize you one bit. Not even my soul knows who you are.” I always seemed to have some sort of connection with the rest of my siblings. But not this one. My parents encouraged me to hold her, but I wouldn’t do it. I was to creeped out. Why did I not know who this kid was? She might have been my parents daughter, but she was not my sister.
But my mother pushed her into my arms and I couldn’t just drop her. So I held her.
It was like holding a stranger’s baby.
My parents named her Brielle. Me and my dad wanted her to be Scarlett. But mum liked Brielle. And mum always wins.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I am well aware that nobody looks at this blog.
I haven't posted for two years.
And my life is different.
Hence my ironic quote up top.
You see. I have considered removing all my previous posts.
From when I was thirteen. I was way too freakin happy.
But I've decided to leave them. Just so anyone who discovers this blog, on accident, like in the movies,
Can laugh at this dramatic transformation. Like black and white contrast.
So that's why I keep them.
So you can see how my life was before.
I haven't posted for two years.
And my life is different.
Hence my ironic quote up top.
You see. I have considered removing all my previous posts.
From when I was thirteen. I was way too freakin happy.
But I've decided to leave them. Just so anyone who discovers this blog, on accident, like in the movies,
Can laugh at this dramatic transformation. Like black and white contrast.
So that's why I keep them.
So you can see how my life was before.
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