A Dramatic Post About A Birth

So this weekend was stupid. I mean I feel evil for saying so. Because you see, my mum had a baby this weekend.
But you know, for some reason, of course I would find something wrong about that.
I don’t know. It’s a baby. I guess I should be happy.
But I’m not.
Ever since I found out my mum was pregnant forever ago, I was irritated. Even then, but then I sort of got over it and I was excited, because I thought for sure that it was going to be a little brother. I have so many sisters, five, now. My two brothers are at obnoxious ages right now, and I don’t remember them when they were baby’s.
But then when this baby was a girl also, I was really upset. I mean, it’s not really something I hardly even thought about after the intital discovery, but it still bothered me.
I felt like my family was like, done, I mean this is my family,
I’m the oldest of six, maybe seven.
But not eight.
I’ve never seen my family as one of those with eight kids.
It’s so weird, and to be completely honest I kept thinking that this baby would die.
I know, that sounds absolutley awful, and it is. But I honestly had no sort of feeling of… knowing.
With all of my other siblings, as far back as I can remember, when I discovered my mum was to have another baby, I accepted it just as if you know, I always knew we weren’t complete in our family yet and it wasn’t really a surprise. But I felt that my family with only seven kids was great. Complete.
After the baby was born, I was the last to go in and see her. And it was just strange. Here was this little red-headed baby in my mothers arms and I had no idea who she was. I mean not like “Oh I don’t know you yet, but I love you already!” Not like that.
It was like, “I don’t know you, I have no idea who you are. I don’t recognize you one bit. Not even my soul knows who you are.” I always seemed to have some sort of connection with the rest of my siblings. But not this one. My parents encouraged me to hold her, but I wouldn’t do it. I was to creeped out. Why did I not know who this kid was? She might have been my parents daughter, but she was not my sister.
But my mother pushed her into my arms and I couldn’t just drop her. So I held her.
It was like holding a stranger’s baby.
My parents named her Brielle. Me and my dad wanted her to be Scarlett. But mum liked Brielle. And mum always wins.